Tuesday, May 09, 2006

The Very First Call...

The next night and day passed quickly and being that this phone call was taking place on a Wednesday (the day I have no college courses) I decided I would call FFW sometime in the afternoon. The afternoon arose and my mind became consumed with this phone call. I began scripting out everything that could be said and tried to work all of the angles. Who is she? will she be nice? Will I come off as a complete imbecile?..

So I breathed deeply and held DKs phone in my hands. My hands were shaking like jackhammers and I felt every beat of my heart in my chest. I knew I was psyching myself out but calm and rhythmic breathing didn't help at all. I input the digits into the phone but my mind refused to let my fingers press the call button. The screen of the phone went dark and the numbers disappeared. I press the number again checking the email to make certain im dialing the correct number eventhough in the back of my head I'm soo hoping I get anyone but this girl.

I put myself in this position and there was no way out. YES I can honestly say that at that moment I wished I was anyone but myself.

I paced and when my mind got tired I paced some more. I truly have no recollection as to how much time past but in reality it must have been about two hours. It felt like an eternity.

Then something crazy happened, my finger slipped! Or maybe the half of my brain that wanted this to be over with already beat out the half that was currently vacationing in Eilat (That one's for you). The heck with it I'm going in. I'm making this phone call. There's no turning back now it's either this call or a pillar of salt and I prefer sweet foods.

One ring....Nothing, I'm now two seconds later and I'm totally reconsidering what the heck I'm doing

Two rings...Oh shoot am I gonna have to leave a message. I cant hang up now she will see the number on the caller ID and think I'm totally insane.

Thee Rings... Mentally preparing for a Voicemail..btw I leave the world's worst voicemails

Four Rings...OK here it comes, at least ill get to hear what she sounds like, My mind is going crazy, I'm clinically insane a this point but then something happens...I hear a voice at the other end say "hello"

OMG calm down work from the script and you'll be okay.

FFD:"umm... Hi FFW?" you idiot of course it's her it's her freiking cell phone who the eck else is gonna be answering HER cell? %^&smack%^& the sound of my palm hitting my forehead

FFW:"um yeah?"

FFD:"Hi my name is FFD I got your number from R&A"

FFW:"Oh hi How are you"......what the? I was about to say something off the script but asking me how I am wasn't there. Quick my mind says abort abort! ur crashing THIS ISN'T IN THE SCRIPT.
OK CALM DOWN! Take it easy and answer honestly... you can do this you are FFD you can do anything (and do).

FFD:"umm... well actually Im kind of nervous"

FFW:"Why what's the matter?"

FFD:"Well I've never called a girl to out before"

FFW:chuckles and laughs at me (thanks a lot hun) "well don't worry there's nothing to be nervous about" ...Yeah like that's gonna help!! she obviously doesn't realize what's goin on up in the thought factory

FFD:"I guess"

FFW:"I'm kinda in the middle of class right now can you give me a call back a little bit later?"
Class! who said anything about class! The pen in my hand is flipping like crazy. If I were to let go it would flip wildly like a Chinese throwing star and stick right into the walls of the kitchen. (The dialing finger slip occured right as I was pacing into the kitchen)

FFD:gotta keep cool :"sure no problem what time is good for you"

FFW:"how's 10"

FFD:"I've got maariv at 10 ill give ya a call at about 10:20?....Is that okay"

FFW:"sure no problem"

At this point I have no idea what hapened but the call was Over and I GOT NUTHIN! not only was the call NOT a success. not only did it take you longer to read the phone call than it actually took, but now I have to go through the entire process ALL OVER AGAIN. this is absolutely crazy says the crazed soon to be shidduch dator to himself.

I am never doing this again.

6 Comments:

Blogger McOrn said...

Awesome - now we're getting somewhere!

12:45 PM  
Blogger Ezzie said...

Oh, but there's so much more to the other end of that conversation!

Nu, where's the FFW?!

6:05 PM  
Anonymous DK said...

i can verify most of this story i was there watching him squirm, trying not to make a fool of himself, all the while comforting him with words of confidence.

8:31 AM  
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A newbie lurker.

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